reverendrevenant:

I could have used this information over the last 29 years of my god damn life

reverendrevenant:

I could have used this information over the last 29 years of my god damn life

(Source: neverforget14, via sexymedic)

publius-esquire:

Speaking of inappropriate jokes, apparently Alexander Hamilton once wrote a bawdy joke to Gouverneur Morris about god on a Sunday, that was so inappropriate that his first editors just destroyed that part of the letter.

(via officialheinzdoofenshmirtz)

tuulikki:

professorfangirl:

clarabeau:

Actor Hugh Dancy writes reviews on airport carpeting and was once in fact suspected as a terrorist because of his intense interest in airport carpeting. I have assembled Hugh Dancy’s sometimes scathing, sometimes poignant, always insightful observations about airport carpeting.

  • EDI: “In December 2007, the 83 crew and passengers of EasyFlight 147 were lost somewhere between Gates 3 and 4 of the main terminal of EDI. Despite extensive searches in the airport’s washrooms, restaurants and duty-free shops, no trace of them was found. In January 2009, three survivors of the lost flight staggered out into the airport’s main corridor from behind a decorative potted plant. There were clearly in shock, and violently refused to walk upon EDI’s carpet, claiming it was a portal that had thrust them into a horrifying parallel universe from which only three of them had managed to escape.”
  • FLR: “The Italian conspiracy against carpeted airport floors continues at FLR. What are we to make of the Italians? How can a country that is renowned for its love of the sensual pleasures prove so lacking when it comes to airport carpeting? Has it got something to do with the mother thing?”

  • PVG: “The Chinese are like a man who arrives late to the party but brings with him a case of champagne, a box of cigars, and a flock of giggling debutantes. While so many of the world’s airports are ripping up their carpets, China has embraced the medium with under-footed majesty. Witness the modernist masterpiece that is PVG. Its palette—tasteful beiges, muted earth tones, grey blues - and streamlined pattern—seeming to reference the architectural lines of Eero Saarinen, Mies van der Rohe, and Arne Jacobsen—are unashamedly mid-century. But while its influences are undoubtedly European (how fitting for Shanghai, that most international of Chinese cities), the overall feel of the carpet is undeniably Chinese. It is a carpet that knows what it wants, and gets it too.”

  • YYZ: “In 1960, the Toronto airport authorities were given a choice - either spend the remains of their airport construction budget on a flashily designed carpet by a world renowned designer, or spend it all on obtaining a snappy IATA airport code. The Canadians chose the latter and the airport now has one of the snappiest codes—YYZ—of any airport in the world. The carpet is a bit boring though.”

  • IOM: “The three-legged triskele-infused design of IOM’s carpet hearkens to the ancient beliefs of this isolated island’s inhabitants. When IOM first opened in 1929 the superstitious islanders, unfamiliar with modern technology, believed that the propellers were magical legs that literally ran the aircraft into the air. This belief still persists to this day, as does the islanders’ belief that nothing rhymes with the word ‘spoon’.”

  • DUB: “What are we to make of DUB? Strangely reminiscent of LGA, this similarity might refer to the strong links between Ireland and America. Then again, it could refer to a deal done out of the back of a truck in the dead of night on an unmarked country road deep in Fingal.”

  • SLC: “It is a curious tenet of the Mormon faith that the rectangle holds an almost divine stature within its teachings. No-one, however, is entirely sure why this is. Some point to the fact that by the time Joseph Smith originated the movement in 1820, all the good shapes—the crescent, the cross, the wheel—had already been taken. Whatever the case, SLC wears its holy symbol proudly and with a certain panache.”

  • PWM: “Why do we not call out airports “jetports” as Portland International does? Then we could say things like, “Sorry, I must dash, I’ve got to get to the jetport,” or, “Can you pick me up at the jetport?” or, “Aliens have attacked the jetport!” Which would be really cool. As it is, PWM remains one of a handful of jetport carpets in existence, and with its Cubist repetitions, and calm, controlled palette, it doesn’t disappoint.”

Please god tell me this is real.

This man is a gift.

a-little-bi-furious:

Also a passive-aggressive reminder that all radical queers need to get on with boosting and fighting for lgbt immigration issues, especially in the UK where it’s reached Monty Python levels of oppressive absurdity. Seriously very few people know that judges legitimately ask questions like “have you read Oscar Wilde?” and “do you use sex toys?” to lgbtq asylum seekers from countries that have the death penalty for being out, believing the UK to be this beacon of tolerance and queer politics, and I find it revolting that many are not making this a primary concern in queer activism.

(via dantalaois)

geiszlerrs:

corgabe:

emt-monster:

Please reblog if you know anyone who might take party drugs.

Yo some more helpful tips from another EMT!

1) Its illegal for an EMT to report certain personal information to other non-medical professionals. This includes telling friends your address, whether or not you are HIV positive, and telling the cops about drug use. Thats right, EMTs and paramedics can’t tell the police if you took molly or even if you did illegal activity that’s dangerous to others, like drunk driving. We honestly don’t care if you shot up heroin - we just want to make sure you’re ok. 

2) Do some research on the drugs you’re interested in. There are a lot of websites that have extensive information on drugs, like Erowid, which not only tells you the effects (positive and negative) of the drug, but also the duration and the dose from threshold to heavy. 

3) Be careful with some drugs, like MDMA (ecstasy/molly), which is commonly found in a pressed pill form and can be mixed with a lot of other materials. If you’re thinking about taking molly at a party or rave, I suggest getting it from your (hopefully trusted) dealer beforehand. That way you’re getting it from a trusted source and can also check to see if that particular pill is on Ecstasy Data.

And LSD, while not a usual party drug, can sometimes actually be another similar hallucinogen, like the NBOMe series, which are active to the microgram like acid but is 4x more powerful on blotter paper, and taking this much will cause a bad trip. Acid has a slight metallic taste, or no taste at all, while NBOMe is very bitter. 

4) Many drugs (like stimulants, MDMA, and LSD on occasion) can cause hyperthermia, which is super dangerous if you’re in a place like a rave, surrounded by other hot bodies and dancing for hours without taking a drink. Remember to break for water if this is your situation to avoid this, and if you start to feel feverish and under the weather, cool down immediately. 

Be safe and enjoy!

Also look up all drug interactions before taking anything. Combining certain anti-depressants with certain drugs like ecstasy can cause serotonin syndrome, which can be fatal. 

(via naisenberg)

queen-nat-xvi:

lionmettled:

queen-nat-xvi:

ooooh that’s exciting!

I wonder if that would constitute a mistrial

I imagine the judge would be completely fed up with the whole thing.

though when isn’t the judge completely fed up? judges are basically lawyers who have either transcended giving a fuck or who have let their wrath consume them

so the judge was either enraged by the amount of paperwork that the jury murder entails

or he wrote a poem about the murder in his brief and included puns about the murder weapon

I think peanuts might have been involved.

queen-nat-xvi:

lionmettled:

queen-nat-xvi:

aw man I thought he was gonna be guilty

so the jurors leave all smug like “we did a good thing today” and then the defendant leaves jail looking all grateful and then the music turns ominous and the camera zooms in on the defendant, who gives this wicked, smug little smirk before everything goes black

Well there’s a CSI episode where the jurors are there for a murder trial and then one of the jurors murder another juror. Don’t remember the name.

ooooh that’s exciting!

I wonder if that would constitute a mistrial

I imagine the judge would be completely fed up with the whole thing.

queen-nat-xvi:

lionmettled:

queen-nat-xvi:

I don’t understand that reference D: but if we’re all angry then I’m sure it’ll be a fun deliberation

It’s a really good movie. 1 guy believes the defendant is innocent while the other 11 think he’s guilty. He stands his ground and eventually wins the others over and in the end the guy goes free. Also he was legitimately innocent, so yay.

aw man I thought he was gonna be guilty

so the jurors leave all smug like “we did a good thing today” and then the defendant leaves jail looking all grateful and then the music turns ominous and the camera zooms in on the defendant, who gives this wicked, smug little smirk before everything goes black

Well there’s a CSI episode where the jurors are there for a murder trial and then one of the jurors murder another juror. Don’t remember the name.

queen-nat-xvi:

lionmettled:

queen-nat-xvi:

LIES

I am excited about the judicial process! the FATE OF A HUMAN AND SOMETIMES AN ANIMAL IS IN MY HANDS and also the hands of like eleven other people but w/e

Maybe it’ll come down to a 12 Angry Men scenario, that would be exciting.

I don’t understand that reference D: but if we’re all angry then I’m sure it’ll be a fun deliberation

It’s a really good movie. 1 guy believes the defendant is innocent while the other 11 think he’s guilty. He stands his ground and eventually wins the others over and in the end the guy goes free. Also he was legitimately innocent, so yay.